One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
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pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You don't make any sense
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