I haven't been this sober since birth.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize