I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
