Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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