so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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