at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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