Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
