I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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