I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
