the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
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How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
is it fun? or sober?
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