You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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