need another drink. this is the easiest way
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
