I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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