In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
