Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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