i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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