if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
