This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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