Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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