I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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