That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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