so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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