I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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