Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
