after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
