you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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