We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
