even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
