At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Sorry about my life...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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