I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
