There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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