First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
