you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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