I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
