similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
