I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize