I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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