went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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