I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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