So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
