Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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