i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The air taste purple.
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