Those balls look pretty dangerous.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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