U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
