Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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