You really coming over, don't trick.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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