I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
