you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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