I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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