loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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