idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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