There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
