I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
