she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
