We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
