My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
