But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
