Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
