My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize