I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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