And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
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I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
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this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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