The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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